She was thinking clearly and it hit her: This psychologist is a predator. She is getting help and talking medication but still gets moody and empathy is not really there, even though she says that she will fight for the marriage and she loves me, I don’t feel her comfort as she is working on herself and not settled with the new medication. You have to be considerate of his or her feelings. I had sole custody but when I had to leave the state for employment purposes, he lied and said that he didn’t about my possible move if I couldn’t find a full time job in his hometown. He has sinced moved out on me and my two children, acting irrational, not helping with the kids and making her a priority. She says that he is a god named cupid and she is his goddess named psyche. I keep talking logic and responsibility and she keeps insisting on being a brat. It has helped me tremendously. One day everything was fine, the next she was telling me she wanted to leave. married for almost 7. She would become extremely depressed for weeks to months. She is very hypersexual and has continuous energy with little sleep. and she want to call the cops on me. As a psychologist he knew how to manipulate her and how to get just what he wanted. This guy has even more character defects that what I mentioned. As soon as he felt better he stopped his treatment.He had to travel for work recently, I found out that he is behaving like a sex addict and engaging in sexual activities with any willing person. For many people, these are unbearable behaviors. Wonder what my chances of staying married are? I’ve been with my husband all my life, we met when we were 15 and there has never been a doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life with him. I was on Ashley Madison. I realize I have my own issues to deal with, and I’m a bit angry with myself that at age 51, I still have these codependency and abandonment issues to deal with that I’ve been working on for over half of my life. Has this all been due to the bi polar? I gave up my apartment and my car and came here my two daughters to live with him and his son two years ago. Bipolar disorder is characterized by mood variations from mania to depression and there’s typically plenty of risky behavior in between. I wish I would have known about my husband having bipolar. Support Forums > Bipolar Disorder. She got scared and had her DR. take her off the meds and try other antidepressants. She has a degree in psychology and is very smart . I always thought that I was stable and would manage to avoid this terrible desease. Since he has been gone he refuses to talk to me or communicate in any rational way, not even to discuss his intentions. Oh yeah, my second point is that there’s a third option – leave. I was engaged to this amazing guy that treat me like I was the only woman in this world. I sent him an email today again offering my love and support if he wanted to return home and get help, but he refuses to acknowledge me. Yes, it is sad and I know the illness clouds judgement, but seriously when you are having AN AFFAIR that lasts months and you consciously are meeting them and taking your clothes off and sleeping with them and calling them and emailing them, it becomes a DECISION. I was totally gutted, hadn’t seen the signs and obviously just choose to believe what I wanted to. He spent 10 days in and got out last week. People with bipolar disorder can turn to the International Bipolar Foundation for more information on the illness, personal stories about lying, and ways they can find treatment and help. If I dont I am afraid that I too will turn BP and one day my kids might also. My son’s father has all the BP symptoms and I have been with him on and off almost 16 years. I was there for all the treatments, mental health clincis and drug abuse, women when we separated and even another child. The pain seems to never really end. No I’m not joking. How do I go on. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The first year was a back and forth roller coaster. so i just found this site, and i can totally relate to what everyone has been saying. Put yourself first. Hi all…it’s so hard reading all the difficulties that everyone has experienced from bp. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. We had a wonderful mutually loving, caring, and supportive relationship until 2 years ago. I am a family councelor , therapist and theologan. He is never here, but we have been dealing with his filthy room. I think what will happen is that he will finally hit rock bottom and accept he is worse off than he really is or he will commit suicide. I had no idea at that time what BPD was all about, i knew it was a mental illness but never thought of the symptoms and signs of this nasty illness.Anyway after our first marriage counseling, we got home and he was agitated and couldnt sleep. I told her how it made me feel. I know I tried, time and time again. Fear has caused me to allow this behavior to continue. If this is true, Why cant my husband over come the need to be on constant contact with KiKi? not emotionally strong enough to walk away, but in my heart I know how much I love him and I know he loves me and I can’t walk away from that. We decided to work things through. I was trying to be her personal cheerleader every day and everyone who knew me noticed that the life and joys I had before were sucked out of me the minute she was in my presence. finally after getting physically and verbally abusive with me, he said that he didn’t love me any more and was separating from me. Though is has been medicated, he still has episodes and my sister is currently planning on leaving him. After I’m sound asleep I’m awaken and startled by sounds coming form her. I found out he brought home the mistress and he really planned all along to get rid of me. I suffer with the same thing from my wife. Does not work. He no longer aknowledged me for the neck up and I began to feel as if I was being used as a blow up doll. I have been through so much and now have kids with him. I’m the only one who knows this … no friends, prob not even his psychiatrist knows this. I’ve point blank let him know I could never even consider doing this all over again until I am told the truth about everything, but I can’t help but believe that honesty will never be possible. It’s not being “easy” or having sex for fun. How can you be such fucking sodding farts as to use terms like ‘cheat’?! We fought about this last february and we decided to go on marriage counseling first week of march. I really appreciate you letting me know. His family feel very similar and are supporting me more than him, nobody seems to have any understanding of the illness. I am married to a bipolar man. I will use the information from this site and blog to reconsider everything. I have no idea how to express my gratitude. I divorced him 27 years ago and have never looked back. HA HA. Bipolar is such a difficult thing to live with let a lone be a spouse to someone that is doing all these irrational, manic things. I’m at my wits end. As much as I couldn’t stop my brain from telling me to do and say things, I didn’t have a gun pointed to my head during any of it. Is there hope for her or am I being used as a sap for a person who insists on not taking responsibility for her actions. ... Today, my plan for a happy marriage is to manage bipolar disorder separately from managing my marriage whenever possible. That experience alone will haunt me for the rest of my life.Id like to say this was the 1st relapse, but it’s not, he does well for a year or so then falls for a week, repeat. When I found out it had been going on for almost a year. What lead to me having the affair was I felt as if I wasnt loved by anyone. This time I made him work harder for my forgiveness, didn’t think I could trust him again, slept in different rooms and put any plans of moving forward together on hold. I know right now that I am going to go through a manic cycle so I am exercising when I can and picking up various hobbies to keep my preoccupied. I knew it for a very long time, from the time that she first denied her doctor the chance to help her. I was determined and unable to think clearly in the slightest. He needs to take his medication and see his therapist. It’s had when someone lies to you and you think you are in a wonderful relationship only to discover you were dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It will never get better than it’s worst day. and appears quite happy and normal while behaving this way. We have been in and out of hospitals for 6 months nad still the problem continues. He drove by my house, which was located on a main street so it was hard to prove that he was stalking me and the local authorities would follow me every other day but this to was hard to prove. between 16 years of pain from fibro, six years of torment with my son’s bp and now this, i feel ready for a psyche ward. There was obviously alcohol involved and it’s been very difficult for me to try and convince her not to drink, especially because I like beer. We started hanging out, then feel in love. Bipolar disorder, in my mind, is the “bad guy disease”. He refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem at all. I am afraid he might be cheating on me. If I was convinced earliar I would have seeked help for my hubby. Today, I am taking medication for the abuse I’ve taken. We have offered him everything, love, support, a soft place to fall, therapy, good doctors, everything that a caring parent would consider. He choose to take his son and leave, but is insisting that I kicked them out on the streets. She promised not to do it anymore. It sounds like me talking, what you have described. The only thing I regret is not trying to help her with BPD when I had the chance. so…let me get this straight..you only cheat on those who deserve to be cheated? I cry all the time because he says the most hurtful mean things, then he will be super loving. After his divorce he stayed by himself, no sex or relationships until he can figure out what he wants and how to get a handle on what he has. Does he have enough power to control himself? He is generous, intelligent, kind and fairly grounded when he is not manic or depressed. I know I shouldn’t let her drink but it’s difficult because we’re both ADHD, and we like socializing on weekends. Right now she is on the highest dose of Effexor which seems to do nothing. She now only see’s the bad in people, it is amazing. I lied. How can you talk about leaving a person who is havinbg extramerital affairs due to a psychological disorder? It would seem to the world and to me that he was head over heals for me, just don’t understnad how he could just up and do this. Good luck to all its not easy. I feel absoutley sick to my stomach and am lost. We went to counseling and all that time he was blaming me for his cheating. We have small children and I take care of them 99% of the time. When he is home he just yells at us and tells us to go away! I was just diagnosed with Bipolar Depression and I am still in shock I think. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t still make mistakes. She shut down and told me I was just trying to justify why I was terrible at showing her I loved her. There are times when people with BP simply cannot exercise good judgment. I am not saying in any way that the horrible lies, cheating and/or up and dumping someone out of the blue for no reason is in any way acceptable but I look at the majority of the types that I attract more often, that constant vibe of expecting to have their feet kissed because they want their denial validated is crap. You can be normal and not some heartless monster. wow where do i start, i was with my bipolar husband for 17 years, recently i found out he was cheating on social media with this women he knew back from middle school ( facetimeing, texting, but not physical yet). I got diagnosed with Bipolar and am on Depakote, Zoloft, and Klonopin. I have never trusted anyone more than I trusted my wife and once I found out the truth I also found out everything she had been hiding and secretly living. We got together because we knew each other in high school, and we weren’t close then but knew each other. Furthermore, feelings of pleasure and arousal are related to a sort of calming effect. And she wasn’t even good about hiding it. It’s easier for me to paint a proper visual. I was devastated when I found out about the affair, but was never able to deal with it, with him in a healthy way. The person she is in love with is a famous actor and they speak telepathically and he sends her secret messages through social media. If I ever find out she done anything I will walk 100% I’m really in the middle of this situation. Yip I had the bomb dropped on me. I wish your wife the best in her fight to stay stable. Lucky for me I was clean, Drug abuse, FIts of rage and now an attempted suicide because I found out his secrets. is real. I just feel so confused about what to do. What I didn’t know was that he was cheating on me and meeting other women while he was with me. We separated at the end of December because he was determined to make me quit my job so that he could travel overseas on a humanitarian mission to a war torn country leaving me with no income and a home about to be foreclosed. Okay Okay… He is BP… Thats no excuse. This disease will hurt you more than it will hurt him for sure. I told her I can’t MAKE her happy, I can only support her and love her and try my best to help her be happy, but ultimately, she has to be the one to take action to fix her illness. Bet your DAMN mundane life wouldn’t be so mundane then. I am so broken. Like drinkers who don’t know they are alchoolic. He goes out quiet often but claims it’s for work. She has taken full responsibility for her actions and is doing everything asked. As I forgave her in attempts to save my marriage and my family and reach out to her in ways I have NEVER done before in terms of support, love, etc…but she does not reach back. That’s for sure. She has had many sexual encounters. I have tried and tried to get her to see someone but she gets so defensive and tries to say that I think she is crazy when she is the only one sane in the house. Video: Living Day-to-Day With Bipolar. You guys are kidding yourself if you think a cheater is going to change, whether he is bipolar or not. The depression along with the desease makes me do things nobody would do. I do have trouble concertrating sometimes but as you can tell, I have a lot going on! Bipolar mania is often accompanied by hypersexuality, an increased sex drive that involves risky, reckless behavior. I hurt and betrayed my husband and best friends. Its such a multi-faceted situation. Wow. He has told me that he cannot control the sex obsession. Are there any medications anyone suggests her to look into that will curve her swings? Our son doesn’t take his bipolar disorder seriously, and we are all living in the worrisome chaos each and every day. And this is coming from one who has the disease and has done things she regrets. I am allowing him to continue this path just because I feel sorry for him being affected with this curse. I’ve been going through the same thing for the last 3 years. How do you forgive someone that does these things. She is a school nurse and she thinks my son’s father loves her very much. At first I thought cool there is a rhyme to the reason. None of them worked, and some made things worse and in conjunction with various sleep meds, they finally gave up and prescribed Effexor, which basically acts as a suicide deterrent, as on that, she still experiences manic and depression episodes. They do not ever change. The told me My wife had an affair on me that lasted several months before I found out. he went into the hospital, put on meds for bipolar 1. is still in an awful depression and cannot seem to move forward. She had been doing very good but we had several stressful situations that drove it out of control. The other day he was being mean and controlling with my 7 year old daughter again and had her on the floor crying and begging him to believe her about her room being clean while he yelled at her and called her a lier. Again she promised not to contact him. He says it is just like he is two separate people when this is happening and he is going to seek help and find out if he is bipolar or has sex addiction. I got bored very easily, and if the man did not play the “game” then id find a new one that peaked my interest. I pray to God he gets well someday, that is all i can do. My biggest regret is that I subjected my daughter to a turbulent life, at best, and tortuous embarassing teen years during the worst. She initially accepted, but then decided to put a hold on that as she decided that her medicine was making her do things that weren’t “normal” to her. Blessings to all. What does the future hold?? She cheated on me with several men. Allowances must be made. especially when you have such a loving and faithful husband that many women would die for. BPD-caused or not, there is no justification for what she did, no matter what I did or didn’t do. I wish we could email and support one another. They were keeping in touch even though she told him it’s not okay. we have been married for 26 years, together since we’ve been 24 years old. My husband has chose to hurt me and my kids over and over and over again. My brother inlaw is BP and has been medicated for 7 years. I compare it to an itch I need to scratch….CONSTANTLY! I am a well organized man, and i know that this is the beginning of the end of our wonderful marriage. If anything is done to hurt them, own it. Anyways it was enough with all the history of blaming, meanness, etc. He had and affair 7 years ago. I have kicked him out a thousand and one times it seems only to have him pull on my heartstrings again. Unfortunately, I married a controlling cheater (2nd husband) at the beginning of my worst years. I encourage you to see your doctor, which is the first step on your road to recovery. They say that love is the greatest thing and can over come all. Hot New # 1. She has agreed recently to take antabuse on a daily basis, and it’s fine during the week but last week Thursday she stopped because of a party we were going to on a weekend, and we both wanted to drink. He has been my childhood friend since we were 15. Not just once, but for as long as it takes. It’s pretty devastating. But I have admitted my cyberflings, sexting, and sometimes even just talking in a risky way through text and masturbating several times in a day even though just the night before we had wonderful sex. I think you would find that your partner will continue with his behaviour.. You get the blame.. 28 years I out up with this.. Her attitude with the family is shorted fused to say the least and dare not ask her about your gut feeling that she may be cheating. His true colors will eventually come out and I hope he reaches out for help when it does. I recently noticed a pattern in his family behavior between him, his mother and his 12 year old son. These people only think of themselves and don’t give a **** about how you feel or what you think. Sort of like taking painkillers. Use the countless resources available to you whether it be literature or medical. You deserve more. I pray for him each and every day. On occasion she still becomes convinced that divorce is the best thing for us, with the usual devastating emotional effect on me. Some was and other times I developed some bad habits. He says every time he saw her we were broken up( because he choose too and didn’t want to see me) so that’s his excuse. I have been reading up on BP and have a gut feeling that my wife of 27 years is ether BP or totally deceptive person. I just read every one each of the post here. so how do you handel the hartack of your so called friend now living with your husband . after two months he came home because i fell down some stairs and really hurt myself. i had no idea that he would ever do such a thing because we have been faithful to one another all these years. Achieving “normalcy,” whatever that is, is then pretty basic: I have been diagnosed with bipolar I disorder since I had my first summer mania at the age of 5. My insecurities and accusations made him do it. We have been married for 10 years and I have been through an affair, anger, verbal abuse, and financial hardship. He was calling her constantly, texting her all the time, and I noticed her texting a lot and confronted her (remember, she has only one friend, whom she hardly ever even talks to) and she denied it was anyone in particular and that it was just “a friend.” The fact that she wouldn’t be straightforward with me tipped me off. It’s amazing that I seem to accidently come across this blog, but then again I believe there are not accidents as we would like to believe. He was diagnosed 3 years ago. In his mind, everything I said or did was a result of my mood disorder. He tells his friends things so that they feel sorry for him, he has already met someone else and is now having another relationship, he lies to family, to his Psychiatrist and to me. I hope the best for you and your family. But nobody put a gun to her head. I think just because you have an illness which makes you behave irradicallyl is no excuse. Does bi polar mean he’s not accountable for his actions?? In July, I found out that she continued to e-mail him from secret e-mail accounts and that they had both gone so far as to use fake names to hide it. She broke down and stared crying and apologizing. ( Log Out / My fiance, was dx with bipolar after an suicide attemt last year, after whe was lying and living a secret life…..I found out about this while I was sitting at his bedside in casualty, praying he would be ok. How’s a guy supposed to live that way with bipolar? But he doesnt want me,he is rude and totally no remorse. I have been with people who have one or both of those issues and they seem to be comfortable with the unhealthy dynamic because they thrive on either being the rescuer and martyr or creating drama and pushing buttons so they can be the perpetual victim they are. My wife is sick and so is yours. My wife for 15 years told me in May that she was in love with someone else. He started off explicitly, then went into victim mode, saying he was “having trouble getting girlfriends and he just wanted a friend to help him find out what he was doing wrong.” She avoided him, but I kept this in the back of my mind before. Call me cruel or harsh but cheating is never okay. Now you have my history. Either way he is my husband and best friend and I plan on being here to support him the best way I can. She has now discarded me and is with another man for her supply (money, entertainment, sex, etc.). It is really a terrible disease. he tells me its due to the medication. I just need to know I’m not the only one that is going through this. I’m filing for divorce and am so glad that she is out d ky life for good. She was just diagnosed BP today.she signed the divorce papers after her appointment with her new doctor.he wants to see how the low dose of seroquel her np prescribed her works for the next few weeks.she says pot is the only thing that takes away her pain so she is continuing to do it daily with this scumbag.she knows now that this is for sure her sickness that she has suspected all along but still feels that she is in love with the other guy and can’t come back because of it.she is ashamed to face family and friends.but IV assured her that they all know that this is bipolar and not her.they all miss her too and want her back in our lives.she made sure to ask me if I would tell my parents she was diagnosed bipolar.she says she is always depressed and crying and cannot sleep anymore.she has been in this episode for about 2 months as far as I can tell.the beginning seemed manic and hypersexual.i think she still is hypersexual with this guy but she is always down and crying unless she is high.when and will the real her come back?she said that she is afraid that if she did and this happened again that she would kill herself for sure.i told her that since she has been diagnosed that treatment will get her well and happy again.I promised her that and that her family is here in her real home with me.should I give up hope?when will this end?I’m doing all I can to understand this disease. 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