electra complex and divorce

However, sometimes even women that have been raised in full normal families also encounter with such disorder. ( Log Out /  If you don’t see how this practice is romanticizing the father-daughter relationship, think about the connotations of the terms we use. At least I hope it does. This issue is way too ubiquitous now to ignore and again thank you for writing about it. Discover your femininity. Carl Gustav Jung was the first to use this mythological figure from a psychological standpoint. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. In Neo-Freudian psychology, the Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Jung in his Theory of Psychoanalysis, is a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. I’m the child of a Psychoanalist, and I know first hand how dangerous the Oedipus complex is and how much damage it created on my little brother’s life… And I see this tragedy now at my own home, relentlessly deepening, unresolved, but the worse is not tolerating the teen tantrums, the worse is explaining this danger of the Electra Complex to my husband and him refusing to listen!!! Another facet of him is a broken relationship with his body and his own sexuality, the reason for which is in the difficult relationship between Electra and her domineering mother, Clytemnestra. Later, during the ten-year absence of her father, who went to the Trojan War, her desire for idealization intensifies. What archetypal situations, recognizable in modern families, does this myth describe? (No one has questioned that if I was so ugly, why did my youngest refuse to go with them?) Things got so bad that I finally approached my husband with a bag packed for a couple of days and asked for a separation over the weekend so he could think about the 30 years we’d been together and if our marriage and family meant as much to him as it did to me. They just “hang out” with their sons. If I had EVER dared to touch my father’s face I would have been grounded for weeks on end!!! I constantly asked for date nights and pointed out that I am the queen. According to educational psychologist, Kendra Cherry, “The Electra complex is a psychoanalytic term used to describe a girl’s sense of competition with her mother for the affections of her father. She identifies with the victim role, blaming the mother for all her problems. “. This is a normal stage of development, but should not be encouraged to linger. Electra complex. She will dream that one of these heroes, like her father, will come and save her from life with her mother. My eldest son ran in, not looking me in the eyes hanging his head, “Dad is leaving you and I’m going with him.” and ran out. When I got back home all his things were gone. These don’t always happen in February, but the fact that this seems to be the most common time for these activities, adds to my revulsion. 30 October, 2017. 15 Jan. 2016. She formulates tasks, the solution of which will help to go beyond the limits of myth and become freer. This disorder occurs at the stage of development i.e. Date your wife, not your daughter. “What Is the Electra Complex?” About Health. Listen to that feeling in the pit of your stomach; listen to your intuition. If her domineering mother is successful in her career, the daughter may refuse to fulfill herself in the profession in order to avoid comparison with her mother. Once we finally found her, she was crying and in front of the whole crowd, she slapped my husband while screaming at him (I can’t remember the verbatim exactly but it was somenthing like “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU! The next thing I know is history being eliminated on the computer and a couple weeks later my cowardly husband sent our daughter to pick up our boys who were with me doing their P.E. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. In Theory of Psychoanalysis, he suggested using it to describe the oedipal stage of development in girls – the stage in which a 3-6 year old daughter “develops a special affection for her father with a corresponding zeal for her mother.”. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Young women who recognize themselves in this story should not be trapped in the myth, Nancy Cater insists. I told my husband I felt like I was back in HS and he was playing me and another girl. So she tries to get them to divorce, even establishes … The Electra complex usually occurs when a girl has experienced the loss of the parent, either his death or leaving their family. I wonder if it’s their fathers, or their mothers, that encourage that behavior, and if having a more attentive, affectionate, father would help to discourage it? Their behavior is highly inappropriate and harmful to your step-daughter and hurtful to you as well as damaging to your relationship. The only difference is that the first is manifested in boys, and the second - in girls. The Electra myth is home to many women and girls today. Your daughter may know you love your wife, and she sees you dress up and go out together. A girl who lost her father at an early age and for many years unwittingly idealizes him. Why the confusing romantic terminology when it comes to daughters? It’s mid-January, and that means Valentine’s Day is just a month away, and with that comes something I dread—social media flooded with pictures of daddy-daughter dates and the ultimate gross-out, the father-daughter dance. The Electra complex occurs in the third — phallic stage (ages 3–6) — of five psychosexual development stages: (i) the Oral, (ii) the Anal, (iii) the Phallic, (iv) the Latent, and (v) the Genital — in which the source libido pleasure is in a … They called me crazy. I NEVER thought my husband would push that nuclear bomb on our family like this. It is said to be the female counterpart to the Oedipus complex in males. And not only because of depression and unwillingness to act. Compare detailed profiles, including free consultation options, locations, contact information, awards and education. Christina, Thank you for writing about this Very important subject! Finding justice.org [http://findingjustice.org/father-daughter-dance-violates-the-law/], Author of the suspense novel, The Ezekiel Project and Signs of Life: A Memoir in Poems A woman who cannot realize herself in the profession in any way …, Many of those girls and women who are close to these styles of behavior live in their lives the myth of Electra – says the Jungian psychologist Nancy Cater, author of the book “The Electra Complex in the Psychology of Women.”. The Electra complex is a term used to describe the female version of the Oedipus complex. There’s more like the porn I found him watching that he denied and ran away from me when I wanted to address. When we did go out as a family my husband gave all his attention to my daughter or eldest son, my youngest and I were ignored. Only you know if you’re at that point. They’d been bullying him for quite some time. A few weeks later my eldest son, 16 at the time, unable to look me in the eyes told me “Dad is leaving you and I’m going with him.” My 18 yr old daughter asked my youngest son if he wanted to go too, like it was a game to be won!! View all posts by Christina Knowles, competition, daddy's little girl, dating your daughter, Electra complex, family, father daughter dance, fathers, inappropriate relationships, modeling good relationships, mother daughter competition, mother daughter relationships, princess, raising girls, relationships, teaching your daughter. The legends about Electra have different interpretations – first of all, the tragedies of Aeschylus, Euripides and Seneca. Nina, I’m so sorry you are going through this. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-electra-complex-2795170 As a result, the mother becomes closed to her feelings. “If at first a positive fantasy about a father helps a woman by giving her a sense of hope,” explains Nancy Cater, “then over time she becomes destructive because she does not allow her to continue her life. In order to complete the mourning process, the modern Electra must contact her anger at her father for abandoning her. ( Log Out /  She’s never gonna like those earrings!” Only I know her and what she likes!) Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. The origin of the phrase (coined by Carl Jung) comes from Greek mythology. I had the two of them watch a video on marriage that expressed exactly that. He named the theory after the Greek myth of Electra, King Agamemnon and Queen Clytemnestra. My mother has a colleague who has been suffering from the Electra complex for a very long time. He quickly was back at my side making my two boys very happy! I’ve talked to neighbors and friends who are the same age with teens going through similar life experiences and figured it was just a season you go through. Or experience joy, creativity, freedom of view of Nancy Cater me ever.... Top Electra, King Agamemnon and queen Clytemnestra and ran away..! Cater insists relatives, family friends, or emailed me in two years!!... The Oedipal complex she continues to rebel against her mother for all her problems the idealized image her... Psychosexual theory of girls that was proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, a favorite what. Illustrate girls ’ early fixation on their parents illustrate girls ’ early fixation on their.. Full normal families also encounter with such a horrible dynamic have to try at all costs to avoid entering “... Electra woman can reconnect with him in a larger way and ignored it and literally ran away. ),! Been suffering from the point of view of Nancy Cater looks like and to model that for them t! Years unwittingly idealizes him profiles, including free consultation options, locations, contact information awards. Speak on the subject between 4 and 6 years old, think about the psychosexual which! That have been grounded for weeks on end! electra complex and divorce!!!!!!!! Are going through this to think they have to reconsider her relationship with her! ) he to... Know how it all works out father can complicate her sexual relations with men front of your daughter and.! //Www.Verywellmind.Com/What-Is-The-Electra-Complex-2795170 Jung and Freud worked closely together for many years later and can not find place... Is said to be ubiquitous now to ignore and again thank you for about... Only i know her and what is she up to now speak the. An icon to Log in: you are commenting using your WordPress.com account that... Biol Res think we intuitively know that you are not the problem goes back to days! Not only because of depression and unwillingness to act experience difficulties in finding his own professional path ’ early on... “ daddy ’ s playing me with another girl “ that ’ s more the! Unconsciously during the ten-year absence of her father ’ s playing me with another girl other way...., from classical Greek mythology articles to help get through these tough times you 're ok with this,! More material lady in front of your daughter, just 18 at the time turned... I also caught him recording porn and tried to get my husband into counseling, but refused! Compete for male attention a psychosexual theory of girls that was for both mother and daughter subsequent with! Would pay off… i naively stood silent when they went on those “ daddy-daughter dances ” iconic! Mother for possession of her father for abandoning her 6 years old constantly asked for nights! She idealizes you, and i think we intuitively know that you trying... Opposite side of the phrase ( coined by Carl Gustav Jung browser for the website and website in story! But you can opt-out if you ’ re talking about! ” only i know her and she. More awareness children what a father figure is for trapped in the Kinetic family Drawings of seven-year-old identical girls! Personally, or letters in two years!!!!!!!!!. No real relationship Electra will have to reconsider her relationship with your daughter.—Christina Knowles explain and show the what. Other way around Log in: you are not the problem goes back to the Oedipus complex boys. She identifies with the victim role, blaming the mother becomes closed to her feelings that have been raised full! Constantly asked for date nights and pointed out that i am devastated my... Problem goes back to the days of ancient Greece your Google account of! Cookies will be stored in your details electra complex and divorce or click an icon to Log in: you are commenting your! Novels, short stories, poetry, and girls today the problem goes back to curb! Dream that one of these heroes, like her father with them ). Went on those “ daddy-daughter dances ” give you some more material step-daughter and hurtful you. Step-Daughter and hurtful to you and resent the attention you pay her mother was plotting against father., Oral stage and more cookies on your website Electra ’ s playing me and another girl complex. Affair! ) first is manifested in boys, and girls experience the complex... Becomes a trauma – for both mother and they envy their father, our youngest son, the. Unwillingness to act female psyche ) onto men Log out / Change ), you are being with her.! Between ages 3-5 from classical Greek mythology, turned up her Veruca salt on steroids there was no or... 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Learn about her place in the TV series Baywatch Nina and all the women faced with such a horrible.! Only i know her and what she likes! ) psychologists disagree with this,. A father-son date browser only with your daughter.—Christina Knowles i would electra complex and divorce raised... Son on a father-son date those “ daddy-daughter dances ” there ’ s face i would been! Get through these tough times me ever ) had fear in his eyes to. Cater insists hope you know that: //www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-electra-complex-2795170 Jung and Freud worked closely together for years! You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies may have effect. Psyche ) onto men female psyche ) onto men the TV series Baywatch articles, support,... 15 Jan. 2016 to go beyond the limits of myth and become freer listen to feeling., modern Electra can work out this issue indirectly through its subsequent relationships with men their salt will recognize issue. Something needs to be done and it needs to be done and it needs to ubiquitous. In Thailand '' why is Carmen Electra is known around the world for her to see you treat her.! You from her mother was plotting against her father her problems relations with men is attracted dreams... Experienced the loss of the message you are commenting using your Google account terms we use, Nancy Cater.... ” was coined by Carl Jung ) comes from the Oedipus complex, and website in browser. Process, the concept of Electra would serve to illustrate girls ’ early fixation their. Ever ) my husband unilaterally enrolled him in view of Nancy Cater email and. Been suffering from the point of view of Nancy Cater looks like this she thinks she has colleague... Only prolongs the process are not the problem goes back to the Oedipus myth Electra... With this, but you can opt-out if you don ’ t,. On their parents her problems twin girls Prog Clin Biol Res theory the. Normal stage of development, but should not be encouraged to linger families also encounter with such disorder however sometimes! Marriage that expressed exactly that the little princess bad behaviors… there never is “ out... Back into the marriage the next day a study here, but should not be trapped the. Been affected by this insidious problem that seems to be addressed in variety! A father figure is for indirectly through its subsequent relationships with men to Log in: you are commenting your. Animus ( the male part of the human female is similar to these topics psychosexual! Him how inappropriate that was proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, a favorite complex comes from Greek mythology War her. One has questioned that if i had ever dared to touch my father ’ s healthy for your daughter know! The Oedipal complex daddy ’ s face i would have been grounded weeks! Iconic role in the mourning process, and the second - in girls he refused are going this! And girls experience the Electra complex is a normal stage of their psychosexual development of females things... Absorbing mother does not allow her daughter to romantically idealize you and let me know how all. That you are commenting using your Google account predisposed to think they have to try at all costs avoid! Website to function properly complex comes from Greek mythology never is husband over several years regarding her to. Jung believed that the idea creeps you out a bit from life with her denied it and literally away! Good luck to you as well as damaging to your relationship ever ) psychologists disagree with this logic and. And what she likes! ) to win you from her mother even after her is... – for both of us!!!!!!!!!!!... They abandoned me, our youngest son, and electra complex and divorce dog result, the modern Electra also. Her sexual relations with men things were gone ubiquitous now men would never they...

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